Falling in love with Jesus
March 16, 2010
This year I have fallen in love with Jesus. This year marks the time I have given to Him to teach me about Him, to understand how He sees me. I am beautiful to Him, no question. He loves on me in the best and the worse circumstances. I have learned that His love is truly unconditional. I didn’t know what I was doing for sure when I came to Redding. I just did what I believed He was leading me to do. Even if I had of messed up I know He would still love me and take care of me, but I took a huge risk and it has paid off. Not because I got to travel, not because I get to sit at the feet of those who are amazing, but because I know so much more about my Daddy. How he sees me as that beautiful flower that stands out in the fields, as one who’s heart is truly compassionate for others but had to learn to love herself as much as she did other individuals. Who saw herself as important as those around her. This understanding went from the pages of my bible straight into my heart like an arrow. I had to learn to accept me and love me for who I am. He has taken care of me in every way while I have been here. He has poured into me all of Him, His word, His love, His patience, His everything. One evening I was in worship and I was listening to this song “dance with me lover of my soul” and I could see my Father twirling around with me, lifting me up and loving on me. I have never felt the love of a father holding me in his arms and feeling protected, but my heavenly Father was doing and has done just that.
He launched me into the things that feared me the most, the unknown and yet He was always there with me. I use to think it was always up to me to accomplish those things I needed to, to be successful in life. I have learned that success has many different faces. The only success I want to have at this moment is to be all He has called me to be, to honor all that He did on the cross for me. He suffered, He was in pain, He was ridiculed and tormented for me. He did all that for me and I didn’t realize the depth of this act till this year.
I stepped out and He followed through and still is. He continually shows me His love in the smallest to the biggest ways. I know my son Michael is in good hands with people that really care about him. I know my children will receive all that I have received because it is now a part of their inheritance. I know that He takes care of my finances even when I make a mistake. And the biggest to date is He saved my life when I wanted to throw it away years ago because I didn’t understand what I understand now.
Do I have regrets? Yes. I wish I had listened years ago when He said He loved me. I wish that I could have shown my kids the love of grace and acceptance when they were young. I wish I could have shared this with my biological father before he took his own life three years ago. But I know I will see him in heaven because my heavenly Father told me so. That’s how much He loves me because I needed to know if I would see him again.
My life will never be the same. I have changed into a place that will never be forgotten. I am in a new season of my life and it has just begun and I am excited to go where He leads me.
March 16, 2010
This year I have fallen in love with Jesus. This year marks the time I have given to Him to teach me about Him, to understand how He sees me. I am beautiful to Him, no question. He loves on me in the best and the worse circumstances. I have learned that His love is truly unconditional. I didn’t know what I was doing for sure when I came to Redding. I just did what I believed He was leading me to do. Even if I had of messed up I know He would still love me and take care of me, but I took a huge risk and it has paid off. Not because I got to travel, not because I get to sit at the feet of those who are amazing, but because I know so much more about my Daddy. How he sees me as that beautiful flower that stands out in the fields, as one who’s heart is truly compassionate for others but had to learn to love herself as much as she did other individuals. Who saw herself as important as those around her. This understanding went from the pages of my bible straight into my heart like an arrow. I had to learn to accept me and love me for who I am. He has taken care of me in every way while I have been here. He has poured into me all of Him, His word, His love, His patience, His everything. One evening I was in worship and I was listening to this song “dance with me lover of my soul” and I could see my Father twirling around with me, lifting me up and loving on me. I have never felt the love of a father holding me in his arms and feeling protected, but my heavenly Father was doing and has done just that.
He launched me into the things that feared me the most, the unknown and yet He was always there with me. I use to think it was always up to me to accomplish those things I needed to, to be successful in life. I have learned that success has many different faces. The only success I want to have at this moment is to be all He has called me to be, to honor all that He did on the cross for me. He suffered, He was in pain, He was ridiculed and tormented for me. He did all that for me and I didn’t realize the depth of this act till this year.
I stepped out and He followed through and still is. He continually shows me His love in the smallest to the biggest ways. I know my son Michael is in good hands with people that really care about him. I know my children will receive all that I have received because it is now a part of their inheritance. I know that He takes care of my finances even when I make a mistake. And the biggest to date is He saved my life when I wanted to throw it away years ago because I didn’t understand what I understand now.
Do I have regrets? Yes. I wish I had listened years ago when He said He loved me. I wish that I could have shown my kids the love of grace and acceptance when they were young. I wish I could have shared this with my biological father before he took his own life three years ago. But I know I will see him in heaven because my heavenly Father told me so. That’s how much He loves me because I needed to know if I would see him again.
My life will never be the same. I have changed into a place that will never be forgotten. I am in a new season of my life and it has just begun and I am excited to go where He leads me.
someone's carrying me :D
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