Falling in Love

Falling in Love

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Tuesday, March 16, 2010 at 3:21pm | Edit Note | Delete

Falling in love with Jesus
March 16, 2010

This year I have fallen in love with Jesus. This year marks the time I have given to Him to teach me about Him, to understand how He sees me. I am beautiful to Him, no question. He loves on me in the best and the worse circumstances. I have learned that His love is truly unconditional. I didn’t know what I was doing for sure when I came to Redding. I just did what I believed He was leading me to do. Even if I had of messed up I know He would still love me and take care of me, but I took a huge risk and it has paid off. Not because I got to travel, not because I get to sit at the feet of those who are amazing, but because I know so much more about my Daddy. How he sees me as that beautiful flower that stands out in the fields, as one who’s heart is truly compassionate for others but had to learn to love herself as much as she did other individuals. Who saw herself as important as those around her. This understanding went from the pages of my bible straight into my heart like an arrow. I had to learn to accept me and love me for who I am. He has taken care of me in every way while I have been here. He has poured into me all of Him, His word, His love, His patience, His everything. One evening I was in worship and I was listening to this song “dance with me lover of my soul” and I could see my Father twirling around with me, lifting me up and loving on me. I have never felt the love of a father holding me in his arms and feeling protected, but my heavenly Father was doing and has done just that.
He launched me into the things that feared me the most, the unknown and yet He was always there with me. I use to think it was always up to me to accomplish those things I needed to, to be successful in life. I have learned that success has many different faces. The only success I want to have at this moment is to be all He has called me to be, to honor all that He did on the cross for me. He suffered, He was in pain, He was ridiculed and tormented for me. He did all that for me and I didn’t realize the depth of this act till this year.
I stepped out and He followed through and still is. He continually shows me His love in the smallest to the biggest ways. I know my son Michael is in good hands with people that really care about him. I know my children will receive all that I have received because it is now a part of their inheritance. I know that He takes care of my finances even when I make a mistake. And the biggest to date is He saved my life when I wanted to throw it away years ago because I didn’t understand what I understand now.
Do I have regrets? Yes. I wish I had listened years ago when He said He loved me. I wish that I could have shown my kids the love of grace and acceptance when they were young. I wish I could have shared this with my biological father before he took his own life three years ago. But I know I will see him in heaven because my heavenly Father told me so. That’s how much He loves me because I needed to know if I would see him again.
My life will never be the same. I have changed into a place that will never be forgotten. I am in a new season of my life and it has just begun and I am excited to go where He leads me.

someone's carrying me :D

Haiti Update 2/25/10

Haiti Update 2-25-10

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Thursday, February 25, 2010 at 1:07pm | Edit Note | Delete

Hi there from the hottest place in the world. okay knowing that could be debated I will challenge you. :)

Today has been a good day. we moved back into the TDA tents yesterday and I looked up and I saw Sheri's lantern hanging from the top and knew I was in the right place. It was the tent I slept in my first trip here. I slept well last night for the 1st time since being here and I had a dream I got married. It was a funny dream. I also washed clothes by hand, really I did. Learning to adapt to my enviroment b/c this is not going to be the last time I will need to adjust to where God has me.
I took a couple of kids to the local hospital to have their cast and wounds rechecked and there was a Ortho MD flirting with me and I was enjoying every minute of it. lol He is from Texas so he liked my southern accent. lol So now I am searching out for another kid that I think needs to go back and have their cast rechecked. He doesnt leave till Saturday so I have a few days to come up with someone. lol There are others here willing to help me get back over there, makes me wonder what they are up to also.
Downtown Haiti is a mess! A lot of rubble blocking parts of the streets and riots have been taking place in the downtown parts of Port Au Prince but we are seeing some signs of improvement in the sense some are rebuilding their walls, burning trash etc.. There is a lot to do here but they are also trying to get Haitians to do the work here to put back into their enviroment and give them employment. There is also talk of moving some of the housing to one side of the fault line but then many lose the land they have already paid for. There is a child here at the compound who is in need of heart surgery and one who is in need of a esphogeal stretching so that she can breathe properlly and not aspirate her food.
That is on 2 needs they have here among many that just tear at your heart. When I look at the children, especially the children in the Orphanage that are handicapped and their wheelchairs are duct taped together and strings holding them in the chiairs, its very hard for me to think what would I do if my own child was here? Many promise to get them supplies, wheelchairs and such that will make their life easier and more worthwhile and nothing comes through.
Life in Haiti is hard on everyone, the smallest 6lb 2month old baby here to the oldest person alive. Its a hard life and I can only see God being able to change this part of the world.
Thats all I can say for the moment. Love you all will update more later.

Haiti #2 2/23/10

Haiti 2/23/10 2nd Earthquake

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Tuesday, February 23, 2010 at 1:13pm | Edit Note | Delete

we had another Earthquake last night, 4.7 but its center point was a little closer. Kerry, Sarah and myself were praying on and off all night. I could sense this one coming. Then another shaking led us to evacuating the clinic kids to under the mango tree. then a mango fell and hit a kid in the head. go figure. We really need your prayers several of us have had dreams, words and etc..leading to something happening so we have been interceding on the behalf of the people of Haiti and all who are here helping. After we had the kids settled we got down on our knees and began to pray and declare peace to the land/faultline among other things. The kids and their family were afraid last night but us keeping our heads and focus on the Lord they felt safer.
I dont look forward to another night of shaking and fear. We are tired b/c we havent slept much. The military came in and put up make shift tents that are water proof b/c of the rains. The clinic will be moved to these tent b/c they are placed in a safe location.
I cannot stress the importance of your prayers during this time. I am where God has placed me and I know it. Please make time in your day to intercede on the behalf of what is going on, especially if you are up during the night. We are on the same time as NC.
Much love, Tricia

Haiti Jan 31st, 2010

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Sunday, January 31, 2010 at 4:44pm | Edit Note | Delete

I''ve entered a country torn by disaster
not knowing what to expect beyond the memories of once before.
I see the faces in so many broken places.

My heart is sadden, trying to hold back the tears,
the smell, the dirt, the death and especially the hurt
How can I help these people Lord?

We arrived at the orphanage, tents set up everywhere,
we the teams of Bethel and TDA
Looking forward to all God has in store
the miracles, the love, the open doors.

Where do I begin Lord show me the way
I want to show them your ways Lord,
You demonstration of healing power,
Your glory and mercy that overflows.

Helping the wounded, praying for that miracle you so freely give.
I lie awake at night and hear the cry of the baby that is burned,
the child whose legs are pinned together, in pain, and the
fear of the young ones.
You go in and hold them, give them their medications.
Where is there miracle Lord?

We all come together to evaluate what more can we do?
We see the garbage on the streets,
the people beggin for water, money and for food.

As I ride through town the smell is strong,
the garbage is piled high, then I realize
I am seeing a miracle!
A building collasped partially saved lives by chairs stacked high.
A miracle of the world coming together, in unity, to aid a torn country,
and children at play with smiles on their faces.
I see the doctors and nurses working hours on in to save a life
I see love, God's love so freely given for all to receive.

I asked you Lord to show me a miracle, but they were right there, right in
front of me, all the time.

You were right Lord when you told me, I would know what
to do in the moment I needed it.

You were right Lord when I was afraid and you said I would not be harmed.

You were right Lord when I questioned if I could do this,
and you said, I am carrying you.

Lord I dont always see things right away, but you never disappoint me.

Prophetic Word given to me May 17, 2009

This word was re-read to me over the phone whe I was at the airport on my way to Haiti.

Sunday, January 24, 2010 at 7:41pm | Edit Note | Delete

the road is long and the way seems rough but that is the way it is for those who have been called to lead the way, removing the stones for others to follow.
so continue to go thru the gate and prepare the way for there are multitudes in the valley of decision.
and no, you can not yet understand or comprehend what lies ahead for you, but know that the Lord is doing a new thing, that we are entering into a new season and it is a season of war, even a season of calamities, but know that the Lord is well able to keep and preserve us, even as He saved the lives all who are on that plane that went down in the Hudson. Nothing is impossible with God, even as that plane was an arch in the waters of the hudson; even as he delivered all that was on the first american ship to be attacked by pirates in 200 yrs- know that He is able to deliver us from every snare that the enemy lays for us and that the enemy will be caught in his own traps.
simply trust in God, knowing that He orders your footsteps aright, that He preserves you and delivers you and that He prepares the way before you. Know that even though darkness covers the earth , that His light is rising in you and that His glory will be seen upon you.

Calamity is a grievous misfortune; a disaster. a state of affliction or adversity; great distress. an event causing great distress or ruin; sudden and crushing misfortune.
Disaster- an accident or a misadventure bringing great loss of life or property.
A calamity causes wide spread distress and is often a natural event.

Psalms 57, James 1:7, Luke 10:25-37 read

Speaking out of my Heart 1/22/10

Speaking out of my Heart

01/22/10

In my heart I feel so full. Full of anticipation, excitement, honor and fear. Anticipation going to Haiti to see the miracles, to see what God is going to reveal to me why am I here? The excitement to see miracles I have never seen, the supernatural hand of God at work. Honor because of the culture I have been set in for this season. To walk in honor, to show others what honor looks like, to be blessed with the honor that not only did God choose this time for me but to also know Bethel has seen a transformation in me. The honor to be told that you have been handpicked to go to Haiti.
I would be lying if I said there was no fear in me, but the fear usually leaves when I align my heart with Gods. Also a fear of failing at this task He has given me. I don't want to fail my Daddy. My heart is like being in a lake of water, where most is peaceful then you come to a swirl and it stirs you up, then the calm returns.
My heart is full of joy and to know when I came to Bethel I was seeking to know who I am to my Daddy. I have found this. I wish I could have captured this years ago, for it would have saved me years of self destruction and poor decisions.
I now know how much I mean to my Daddy and I wish others could grasp this. I can say my heart is at rest now, I am no longer struggling for an identity. My value has gone out the roof so to speak. His hand is on me and He loves me and finally because of Him, I love me.
I feel empowered by the Spirit of God to do all He wants me to do. My heart is in love with a love that will never end.
My Daddy has filled the emptiness I have had, missing what it was like not having a natural father, that I felt loved and acceptance.
The joy comes, the love and peace comes and my Daddy places them strategically in my heart and this is where I am now...In Love..

This was written in Revival Group when Jason V asked us to write down what our heart was speaking out.

Tricia Dowless

Happiness

A Heart for Disaster

A Heart for Disaster

January 15, 2010

When I first heard of Haiti being hit with and earthquake I thought this wasn’t accidental. Especially when I heard the Presidential Palace was brought down.
The Spirit of the Lord hit me and I immediately went into intercession and I wept.

I believe the Lord put it on my heart to go to Haiti. I was there years ago and my experience changed my life. The opportunity came to go on a mission trip to Haiti and in a carefree way I told the Lord you come up with the money and I will go. Really, there was only two weeks left to go and I didn’t think it would happen. Well it did and the next thing I knew I was going to Haiti. All the way down to Miami my mind was thinking, how did I get myself into this? Then there was excitement to see what God would do through this.

As I arrived in Haiti I didn’t want to touch anything or anyone. I heard the horrid stories of sickness and disease. By the time I left I was not wanting to let go of the children, I would just hold them and love on them, they changed my heart.

The day I was to leave I began to feel very sick. Lets just say a parasite was holding me hostage in the bathroom. I was so sick I could hardly walk. I was pale, clammy and very weak. Our groups goal was to get me out of Haiti, through customs, and on the plane home with out them realizing I was sick. Although there were some timid moments the Lord opened the path to the plane and as soon as I saw the American flags in Miami I was instantly healed.

These past couple of days my heart has been grieving for Haiti. I went to Bethel School leadership and received permission to go. At this point I am looking into avenues to get there, but what I want to share with you what this has been like.

I asked a couple of people to pray about going. One person said this is so you, you have a heart for this and they believed God was sending me. Another said after praying they felt it was “personal” and not God. So that put me right on the fence and not knowing what I was to do. I realized I am in school and this is where I am called to be at this time.

I began reading a passage in Judges about Gideon going to war and the Lord said, “am I not telling you to go?” The Lord told him “I am with you do not be afraid, you will not die”. I have learned in school about those scriptures that seem to jump off the page and grab your spirit. Then I was looking at Facebook and saw a teaching on Tenacious Love by Heidi Baker. If you went to Heidi Baker and asked her she would tell you that even the one is important to God. I have never heard her say to the people in Africa, because of the way you live and believe, God is going to take you down and no one will be able to help you. All I could feel in my heart was love for them. Taking a combination of my nursing skills, and an anointing for healing and deliverance and take it to a nation who needs God.

At this point if the doors open to go I will, if they do not I will spend the time of interceding on their behalf. Both ways are a win/win. Will I try to open doors? Absolutely because I have learned if you are hungry enough, if you are pressing in for what is of God, He just may give it to you. I believe my heart can change the heart of God. I’m hungry and I want more, more opportunities to show off my Daddy.

In his love,
Tricia